Conscious Awareness Means We Agree to Live Focused and Present
12 Life Skills that can Change Your World
“What we hold dear can heal the world.” –Mark Nepo
Twelve-steps needn’t be limited to just substance-abuse recovery. Think about the number twelve in common cycles like the months in a year, weeks in a season or quantity in a dozen. This article is the seventh in a twelve-part series highlighting top life-enhancing practices that can make us feel happier, healthier and more alive. By focusing our attention on these integrated positive life skills, we begin a synergistic practice that leads to permanent proficiency by building a useful toolbox for greater self-mastery. Each of the skills in this series is well defined in order to give clarity, direction and action challenges that can help the curious and willing reader cultivate greater wellbeing and flourishing in your daily life. People who consider themselves to be most satisfied with their lives recognize that by constantly challenging themselves to learn, grow and expand they feel more alive connected, and joyful in the world. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to open your heart and mind in order to soar! Read on…practice makes permanent…
3 Tips that Open the Door to Your Best and Highest Self
Lisa Cypers Kamen, MA
Does the following expression sound familiar, “You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?”
This statement helps anchor a universal truth that in order to be the change we wish to see in the world we must first make the effort to transform ourselves. Change starts with the reflection in the mirror. Take a look at who stares back when you gaze into your own eyes. Do you like what you see? Do you value and appreciate how you show up for life, for yourself and for others? Do you own up to your ways of being in the world or do you blame others for your lack of wellness, success or happiness?
As we become more congruent in our thoughts, feelings, emotions, actions and truths, our lives begin to flow more steadily with grace and ease. Life can be extremely complicated and challenging. And when we commit and subscribe to operating system that activates our best and highest self, we are no longer the victims of external circumstances. We begin to roll with the ups and downs associated with being alive from a different paradigm, that of the best and highest self.
Many folks are often content to be observers of their own life, but we are most fully alive engaged and happy when we immerse ourselves in the experience of life. This simple and radical change in perspective empowers us to become our best self, or highest self. When we develop and manifest the life we choose through focused intentions and supportive actions we begin to cultivate a satisfying whole-hearted life of meaning.
“Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.”—Og Mandino
This quote resonates for me because this is one of many principles that guide my own life and work. As an applied positive psychology and lifestyle management coach, I see clients from all walks of life desiring greater balance, direction and happiness in spite of trauma, addiction and other extreme adversities. What sets these people apart from the pack is their undaunted commitment to be their best and highest selves in spite of the curveballs life has thrown their way.
Consider this simple mindful practice to access the best and highest person that resides within each and every one of us:
- – Today is the only day that is guaranteed
- – Greet today with love, kindness, empathy and compassion no matter what
- – We cannot control the world, just ourselves
- – Congruency is key – talk and walk the same tune
- – Practice makes permanent
- – Outsource support
Here are some strategies to help you connect to your best and highest self:
1. FORGIVENESS CREATES SPACE: Whether we need to forgive ourselves, or another, the path to forgiveness is to let go. When we hold on to these negative emotions, it depletes our energy, and fills us with feelings of pain, shame and regret. If you want to walk the path toward a higher version of yourself, begin with forgiveness. Forgiveness does not absolve responsibility of a perpetrator of a heinous act against you, nor does it imply that one forgets an ugly event. Forgiveness is a gift that sets the forgiver free.
– Write down 2-5 acts in the past (distant or recent) that you would like to forgive yourself for. Say why it’s important to let these go. Then, take them to a body of water (ocean, lake, river or toilet) and say, “I forgive myself for… or I forgive (blank) for…” and watch them float away. Other options to consider are to burying or burning them.
2. DON’T LIMIT YOUR IRRATIONAL BELIEFS: It may be that a parent that said you are not good enough, a teacher may have told you that you are not a good writer, or your personal trainer said you run slowly. Wherever these statements originated, they are the opinions as well as truths of another and yet we are the ones who choose to actually believe them. In fact, it is not always prudent to listen to others when they say you can’t do something, because when you start believing these statements and they become true inside of you. You literally psyche yourself out.
– Name 3-5 limiting beliefs you’re holding onto right now. Then, write down where they came from, who gave them to you, and why you hold onto them. Now, write down an alternate positive belief for each one. Post the positive beliefs someplace where you can see them every day and say this: “Positive beliefs have replaced and eclipsed old self-limiting perceptions” This is a good mantra to repeat during a meditation session.
3. BUILD POSITIVE MOMENTUM: If you focus on one positive momentum that you would like to fulfill each day, you can commit to integrating it throughout the day. Just having one as opposed to three will help keep it the main focus! With these helpful tips we learn that being our higher self is actually very attainable. Remember, have patience with the transformative process. Old patterns do not disappear overnight, or even in a week. But the transformation is absolutely worth it
Undoing negative patterns begins with awareness. This builds a pattern of determination, attention, intention and ultimate action. Eventually, these negative patterns will dissolve and positive patterns will replace them. Remember, practice makes permanent.
With BIG gratitude and HUGE support,