Have you ever been around someone who exudes an inflated perception of self, a sense of entitlement, and a relentlessly imperious attitude devoid of actual credibility? People with narcissistic personalities have manipulation skills to lure us in with certain charms, then gaslight us into frustration (or worse) with alternative facts and their actively or passively aggressive actions.

This sets up a relationship dynamic that is destined to frustrate even the most balanced and grounded human being.

“A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim or innocent in all aspects. They will be offended by the truth. But what is done in the dark will come to light. Time has a way of showing peoples’ true colors.”

—Karla Grimes

You might recognize these self-aggrandizing traits as described by Duke University’s Dr. Zach Rosenthal’s acronym, “SPECIAL ME” that identifies narcissistic personality traits:

1. Sense of self-importance
2. Preoccupation with power, beauty, or success
3. Entitled
4. Can only be around people who are important or special
5. Interpersonally exploitative for their own gain
6. Arrogant
7. Lack empathy
8. Must be admired
9. Envious of others or believe that others are envious of them

Some of us find ourselves involved with these narcissistic sorts over and over again. This comes from early exposure to family members’ narcissistic personalities that have resulted in becoming accustomed to walking on eggshells in our relationships with these difficult temperaments, whether they are personal or professional associations.

The good news is that we can learn to both separate the bad behavior from the person and navigate in healthier ways when the relationship is one we value and want to maintain.

Here are a few usable tips when dealing with narcissistic personalities:

• Set boundaries
• Manage expectations
• Don’t take things personally
• Maintain sense of self 
• Nobody can take your power away without your permission
• Practice patience

Like what you’re reading? Want more consciously prepared brain food about this topic? 

Listen to this Harvesting Happiness episode: Unveiling Narcissism: Navigating Relationships with Self-Absorbed Personalities with Dr. Karyl McBride PhD, LMFT or wherever you get your podcasts.

Take an even deeper dive with More Mental Fitness by Harvesting Happiness on Substack and Medium.

Karyl McBride, Ph.D., LMFT, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in practice for more than 40 years. She specializes in treating clients with dysfunctional family issues. Dr. McBride is considered a pioneering and leading expert in her field as a researcher and mental health care provider regarding parental narcissism and the debilitating effects of narcissism in relationships. She has treated many adult children of narcissistic parents as well as many others involved in relationships with narcissists.

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