Sex is… perfectly natural. It’s something that’s pleasurable. It’s enjoyable and it enhances a relationship. So why don’t we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with ourselves as sexual human beings because we are all sexual?” — Sue Johanson

Regardless of age or stage of life, sexual health and expression are vital to our well-being. Whether we’re partnered, or not, sex is good for us. And having better sex is a project worth pursuing.

Seeking to get out of a sexual rut or overcome bedroom boredom?

Better sex through education can lead us to a more fulfilling and exciting sex-life. Think you’ve seen and done it all? Remember, there is always something new to learn and room for improvement. Great sex is part of self-care and can deepen connection to our partners while reducing stress.

Here are some actionable strategies to reignite passion and build intimacy:

• Communication: talk about wants, needs, desires, preferences, and fantasies. Create a climate of non-judgment and safety that will foster a sense of mutual safety, trust, and understanding. Remember, “no” is a complete sentence.
• Foreplay: is more than touch intended for arousal. Foreplay can start with nonsexual gestures like emptying the dishwasher or making your partner’s favorite dish. Make and take time to explore your partner’s body (or your own) and focus on sensuality and pleasure, not just the coital act. Explore different techniques of kissing, massage, and erotic touch.
• Sharing Fantasies: mutually exploring our fantasy lives can add excitement and novelty to our sex lives. Experiment with different sexual scenarios, role playing, and props can bring fantasies to life and enhance pleasure.
• Self-Care: boosts self-confidence, self-esteem, and enhances our sexual well-being. Regular exercise improves our stamina, flexibility, body confidence and fitness for sex. Making proper sleep, nutrition, and stress management a priority helps optimize physical and mental health which are essential for a healthy, happy, and satisfying sex life.
• Sex Education: keep things fresh and exciting by trying new positions and practices such as tantra, mindfulness , and breathing exercises. Consider playing with toys. Explore erogenous zones to discover new pleasurable sensations. Seek classes from online sex education platforms such as Beducated or read books such as “The Joy of Sex.”
• Build Intimacy: cultivate connection beyond the confines of the bedroom. Maintain a strong emotional bond with your partner throughout the day (think quick flirty texts), hold hands, touch, cuddle, and hug. Prioritize and plan for romance and sex romps.
• Prioritize Sexual Health: practice safe sex and get regular screenings for STIs. If sex becomes painful, difficult, or desire diminishes due to hormonal shifts, speak with your healthcare provider who can help to optimize your sexual well-being.

Having better sex requires the willingness to embark on a journey of exploration, communication, and desire for mutual pleasure. Curiosity is key in order to learn new techniques through sex education. This requires openness to having new experiences that can ignite passion, deepen intimacy, and cultivate a more fulfilling sex life that brings joy and greater pleasure to both you and your partner.

Like what you’re reading? Want more consciously prepared brain food about this topic?

Listen to this Harvesting Happiness episode: Getting It On: Sexual Expression at Any Age & Stage of Life with Dr. Justin Garcia or wherever you get your podcasts. Take an even deeper dive with More Mental Fitness by Harvesting Happiness on Substack and Medium.

GUEST BIO: Dr. Justin R. Garcia is Executive Director of The Kinsey Institute and Ruth Halls Professor of Gender Studies at Indiana University, Bloomington. An award winning researcher and educator, Dr. Garcia’s research focuses on people’s romantic and sexual lives throughout the life course, especially on integrative bio-psycho-social models of variation in courtship, intimacy, and sexual behavior. He has co-authored over 100 academic articles and book chapters, and is co-author of Evolution and Human Sexual Behavior (Harvard University Press). Since 2010 he has been Scientific Advisor to the world’s largest relationship company, Match.com.

Website: https://kinseyinstitute.org

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