“Alex “Hitch” Hitchens: 60% of all human communication is nonverbal body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you’re saying ain’t coming out of your mouth.” –Hitch

The Communication Dance in Relationships

Relationships are what make the world go round. Satisfying relationships thrive on effective communication, and nonverbal cues play a vital role in their success. Nonverbal communication goes beyond words to amplify the effectiveness of our messaging.

Understanding Nonverbal Communication

Nonverbal communication is a silent language that includes eye contact, body language, facial expressions, posture, gestures as well as the tone and pitch in our voice when speaking. These are all subtle cues that convey emotions, attitudes, and intentions to others in a way that is more powerful than our words. According to experts, more than 60% of all human communication is nonverbal. The value of nonverbal cues in communication is higher than words alone!

Having good communication skills enables us to understand others and be understood through conveying our messages effectively.

The Role of Nonverbal Communication in Relationships

Relationships thrive on effective communication, and nonverbal cues play a vital role in this process. Here’s how nonverbal communication impacts various aspects of relationships:

• Building Trust and Intimacy: Consistent eye contact, open body language, and facial expressions help build and reinforce trust that signals honesty and openness which are essential components for connection and intimacy.

• Expressing Emotions: Physical demonstrations such as a head nod, a smile, and a comforting touch express feelings of positive regard, empathy, and compassion more effectively than words. 
• Resolving Conflicts: Nonverbal cues such as a calm tone of voice, relaxed posture, uncrossed arms, and active listening signals like leaning in can be useful in de-escalating and diffusing tension while opening the door for constructive dialogue.
• Enhancing Understanding: Misunderstandings often arise from poor communication. By being attuned to nonverbal signals, partners can gain better insights into each other’s feelings and thoughts, even when words are not explicitly spoken. This heightened awareness can prevent miscommunication and promote harmony.

Improving Nonverbal Communication Skills

• Be Present and Attentive: Put away distractions and show up with interest to look, listen, and respond.
• Observe and Interpret: Pay attention to the other person’s eye contact, body language, and facial expressions. This adds texture and context to the conversation.
• Mirror Behaviors: Mirroring the other person’s nonverbal behaviors can help to build rapport, connection, and understanding. 
• Maintain Appropriate Eye Contact: Eye contact is a powerful communication tool that demonstrates interest, attention, and respect. However, cultural norms regarding eye contact can vary widely.
• Use Touch Wisely: Touch can convey care and support. Touch can express empathy, comfort, and reassurance. Consideration for the appropriateness of touch based on cultural norms and the nature of the relationships.
• Mindfulness of Our Nonverbal Cues:: Be conscious of body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Nonverbal cues that align with verbal messaging help to avoid confusion and misinterpretation.

By honing our nonverbal communication skills, we add depth and dimension to our relationships. This transforms the way we relate to one another by building greater trust, bridging connections, and increasing meaningful engagement. In an ever-increasing digital world, there is no substitute for real-life unspoken signals that are the bedrock of human connection and belonging.

Listen to this Harvesting Happiness episode:  Beyond Words: What We Say Without Talking with Stephen Furlich PhD or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Take an even deeper dive with More Mental Fitness by Harvesting Happiness on Substack and Medium.

GUEST BIO: Dr. Stephen Furlich is the author of Nonverbal Epiphany: Steps to Improve Your Nonverbal Communication. He is also the best-selling author of a breakthrough book, Sex Talk: How Biological Sex Influences Gender Communication Differences Throughout Life’s Stages. Dr. Furlich has become fascinated with technological advancements in science that have enabled a better understanding of communication. This line of research has inspired him to write this book to synthesize many different sciences to better understand the role of biology with nonverbal communication cues.

Website:  https://www.tamuc.edu/people/stephen-furlich/

Keep Reading…

• Keep the Fire Burning: In Praise of Lifelong Sex Education for Sizzling Intimacy at Any Age
• Mindset Matters In Well-Being
• The Desire for Control: Navigating Life in Pursuit of Happiness
• Narcissists: Destructive Mind Gamers Desperately Seeking Validation
• Cognitive Psychology: Thinking About How We Think